If you\u2019re used to sending a lot of Christmas cards each year, it\u2019s so easy to get lost in generic greetings. But if you\u2019re writing for people who just lost a family member, you need to be extra mindful with the little details that could easily make their grieving worse.<\/p>\n

For instance, if you\u2019re used to addressing the couple on your past Christmas cards and your friend has lost her husband, ensure you don\u2019t accidentally address them both in your card this year because that could cause a lot of emotional pain.<\/p>\n

If a friend lost a child, you don\u2019t need to share about your own child\u2019s milestones because that could only cause pain. The trick here is to write everyone else\u2019s cards first and curate a special message to friends who lost their loved ones.<\/p>\n

You can still talk a bit about the one who died to let your recipient know that you still remember him and that could be part of healing. Just be careful with your words to avoid offending anyone instead of comforting them.<\/p>\n

Keep Your Christmas Message Simple, Yet Thoughtful<\/h4>\n

Ideally, don\u2019t buy a pre-printed card off the shelf that contains a jolly Christmas message. This may be quite insensitive and inappropriate. Order a personalised Christmas card so that you can write the greeting yourself.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s hard to write a message for someone who lost a loved one because you don\u2019t want to add to their grieving. But avoiding the topic completely could make you look insensitive. Acknowledging this difficult time in their life may help them feel that you are with them in this journey.
\nAfter doing that, you can write about hope and strength to tie in with the holiday season. This gesture is already more than enough to let these people know that you are thinking of them not only during Christmas but throughout their journey of healing. Here are some messages that you can draw inspiration from:<\/p>\n

\u2022 \u201cOur thoughts are with you during the holiday season, and we wish you peace and comfort not only at Christmas but also for the rest of the coming year.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cI can imagine how difficult the holiday season must be for you this year, but I want you to know that you\u2019re in my thoughts every day. Here\u2019s to better days ahead.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cSending all our love and thoughts to your family during the holiday season. May the promise of hope and love this Christmas lighten your burden and show you that you are loved by many.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cThis might not be the happiest Christmas for you, but I hope you know that we are here for you. We wish that this New Year will bring you comfort and hope as you begin to heal.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cKnow that we are thinking of you and are offering our prayers for you this Christmas. May you feel our love this holiday season and know that we are a call away if you need anything.\u201d
\n\u2022 \u201cThinking of you during the holiday season and praying that your house is filled with love as you celebrate Christmas. We are here for you when you need us.\u201d
\nTo a great extent, what you write in the card will depend upon your personal relationship with the bereaved, and their personality. The above ideas are great starting points, but try to personalise the message if you can.<\/p>\n

For example, if you know that the recipient needs and wants to talk about their lost loved one, you can bring up a happy Christmas memory that you shared with them. But if the bereavement is very recent and there\u2019s still a lot of raw pain, this might not be the best idea.<\/p>\n

Avoid Bringing Up Your Personal Struggles<\/h4>\n

If you\u2019re the kind of person who enjoys writing letters in Christmas cards to your friends and relatives, it may be second nature for you to bring up your (and your family\u2019s) struggles and achievements in your holiday cards. However, you need to be careful about talking about your own struggles when writing a Christmas card to someone who\u2019s suffered a loss.<\/p>\n

Whatever struggles you\u2019re facing right now, it isn\u2019t right to complain about this to someone who is grieving a loved one. Never make it sound like you\u2019re comparing your own experiences to someone and avoid making the conversation about you and not your recipient.
\nWhile you can share some of your experience to make you more relatable, you should focus on uplifting messages that will make your recipient feel valued and loved without being too intrusive.<\/p>\n

Consider Your Recipient\u2019s Religion (or Lack Thereof)<\/h4>\n

It\u2019s not uncommon to say phrases like \u201cyou are in our prayers\u2026\u201d or \u201cWe will be praying for you\u2026\u201d and even include some Bible or religious quotes with your message.
\nBut you should only do this if you\u2019re completely familiar with your recipient\u2019s religious practices. You have to be sure that the person you\u2019re writing to is a practising Christian, and wouldn\u2019t take offence to such phrasing.
\nIf you\u2019re not entirely sure, it\u2019s best to stick with the more generic greetings that still hold the same value without the risk of offending someone. For example, substitute the word \u201cprayers\u201d for \u201cthoughts\u201d.<\/p>\n

Skip the Family Portrait<\/h4>\n

If you\u2019re someone who likes to create customised Christmas cards with your own photo, and you typically include a family portrait in your Christmas cards, you should skip it for those who just lost a loved one.<\/p>\n

Opening up a Christmas card only to see a family portrait with happy, smiling loved ones can remind the bereaved of the loss they have just experienced. If someone\u2019s family member has passed away, it\u2019s best to skip the group photo and just send a more generic Christmas card with a pretty design. You could still use your own photo, but perhaps choose a shot of your snowy back garden, your Christmas tree, or even your pets. And you can (and should) still personalise the message on the inside to let the recipient know you\u2019re thinking of them.<\/p>\n